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"Man, I'll tell you what, Hank, 'bout the dang ol' meaning of life, man,
it's like this, man: It's like a butterfly flapping his wings deep down
in the forest, man, it's gonna cause a tree to fall, like, 5,000 miles
away, man, and dang nobody see it, nobody don't even know it even happened.
You know, a baby's born into this world and dang ol' they don't got dang
ol' friends, go dang nothin' but to come in to find about all of them evil, man.
--
Man, see like, you don't even know, man, were you're goin'; it's like you're
born into this world, man, and you got, like-- it's like this, man, the dust
in the wind, man, or like a dang ol' candle in the wind, man, you gon', it don't
matter, man, it's like the whole whole these whole time; you know what I think, man?
It's like that dang ol' 'You think, therefore you are', man."
-Jeffrey Dexter Boomhauer III
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Dang ol' how do I write on this dang ol' new fangdangled stuff?
Dang ol' hi, my name is Johnery Jack, man, I'm a Yonder Wanderer,
you know, man. I look like this, man, I'll tell you what, man,
I'm a sexy man, man.
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Us dang ol' Yonder Wanderers look similar man, I'll tell you what,
man, but we are very different, man, I'll dang ol' tell you what, man.
We're dang split up into 3 peoples, man:
As a pround dang ol' Yonder Wanderer, I can speak for all of us, man,
I'll tell you what, man, those Wander Yonderers are f#&*ing peices of
sugar honey iced tea, man, they're some stupid *#(@&@ &^#^ %@@@##&!&,
man, we HATE them, and they dang ol' despise us, I'll tell you what,
bud.
We've been in a dang war for the past 10,000 years, man, and those
f#&*ing &^$^$*(@(* haven't stepped down. At least those @*(#$& aren't
cowards.
.
Now, the Yonder Wanderers who are devote followers of Ponder are something
else, man, I'll tell you what. Now I don't judje folk like that, I let
folks be folks, man, (exept if they're some f#&*ing Wander Yonderers)
but if you ask me, those Ponder warshipin' folk are in a cult, now.
I think they took what that strange man with the tumors said too seriously,
man, he was just sayin' to ponder life, man, I don't know what this "Great
God Ponder" stuff is all about, man. I heard they already have a whole dang
temple, man, it's crazy is what it is, man, I don't understand it. They ain't
hurtin' nobody though, so why should I care, I just don't like how quick
everything's changin', man, it don't make no sense to me, I'll tell you what.
It was so simple for the past 10,000 years, just 2 kind, but now there's 3,
I just don't dang ol' get it, man, I just don't dang ol' get it.
.
.
[CENSOR MARKS BY THE LIFE PONDERER: PONDERER OF LIFE]